I'm craving an escape..

I can't handle the anxiety anymore; it's draining me and taking over my thoughts and body.

Why why why do I worry so much? Why do I constantly think about food and numbers and exercise?

I want to escape from this so bad, but I can't get myself to be commited.

I hate saying that, but if I said any differently I would be lying to myself.

I was supposed to go to Walden today for an intake, but because of the stupid snow it's posponed until tomorrow.. I was already anxious about it but now the anxiety had reached an all time high. I just hope what I want to happen happens.. I hope I can get the least treatment possible.

I don't need help, or should I say I don't need THAT much. But everyone else disagrees.

No one believes that I can do this on my own. Everyone has said for me to change I have to hit rock bottom.

Part of me thinks maybe thats true. I mean I fucking had only one part of my heart beating and that still wasn't enough to snap me out of this hell.

I'm scared.

I don't want to hit rock bottom, but I'm afraid I've dug myself too deep to get out.

Someonesaveme.

I pray tomorrow will be okay; I pray God will be on my side.